Three Escape From Clintonville City Jail
By Thaddeus Oliveras
Context Free Press Writer
Clintonville, PA --- Three convicted felons escaped police custody near midnight today by using a makeshift bar spreader and then fleeing on foot through neighborhood alleyways, investigators revealed today.
The tools used in the escape were left discarded on a sidewalk.
Sheriff Kelvin Madden identified the escapees as Shane Palmer, 25; Benjamin Maynard, 27; and Bryan Hue, 21.
"No one is happy to have to report this kind of event," Madden said. "A prisoner such as Shane Palmer has killed before, and is clearly in an excited state after something like this happens. It's just too bad, but we'll clean up this situation by tracking them down via the leads we've got."
What is this thing?
I don`t care, just do it again.